By Ernie J. Zelinski
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(A Comprehensive Collection of Quotes and Sayings about Food Preparation and Dining Tips for those retirees who want to retire happy and age well

Dining Tips 

Quotes and Sayings

Never commit yourself to a cheese without having first examined it.
— T. S. Elliot  

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
— Virginia Woolf

Oh, it's cool. I wear a white dress and I can eat yoghurt, cup a soup and hazelnuts now.
— Cassie Aisenworth

Mustard's no good without roast beef.
— Chico Marx

If you are wondering if you took the meat out to thaw, you didn't.
— Unknown wise person

If you're wondering if you left the coffee pot plugged in, you did.
— Unknown wise person

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
— Rodney Dangerfield

There are nine ways of poaching eggs, and each of them is worse than the other.
— Robert Lynd

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
— G. K. Chesterton

I no longer prepare food or drink with more than one ingredient.
— Cyra McFadden

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.
— W. Somerset Maugham

A knife too dull to cut anything else can always cut your finger.
— Fausner's Rule of the Household

He who does not mind his belly, will hardly mind anything else.
— Samuel Johnson

The right diet directs sexual energy into the parts that matter.
— Barbara Cartland

Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
— Ambrose Bierce, American author, The Devil's Dictionary

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner,
And take to light claret instead of pale ale;
Look down with an utter contempt upon butter,
And never touch bread till it's toasted — or stale
— H. S. Leigh

[Retirement] life is too short to stuff a mushroom.
— Shirley Conran

Eating is not merely a material pleasure. Eating well gives a spectacular joy to life and contributes immensely to goodwill and happy companionship. It is of great importance to the morale.
— Elsa Schiaparelli

Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
— Andy Rooney

Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.
— Robert Orben

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing never to put it in a fruit salad.
— Unknown wise person

I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book . . . . The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
— Groucho Marx

Any dish that tastes good with capers in it tastes even better with capers not in it.
— Nora Ephron

To the old saying that man built the house but woman made of it a "home" might be added the modern supplement that woman accepted cooking as a chore but man has made of it a recreation.
— Emily Post

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine & becoming viands.
— Lord Byron

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.
— George Bernard Shaw

If you're going to America, bring your own food.
— Fran Lebowitz

It is the mark of a mean, vulgar and ignoble spirit to dwell on the thought of food before meal times or worse to dwell on it afterwards, to discuss it and wallow in the remembered pleasures of every mouthful. Those whose minds dwell before dinner on the spit, and after on the dishes, are fit only to be scullions.
— Saint Francis de Sales

Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.
— William Shakespeare

The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything.
— P. J. O'Rourke

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
— from The Joy of Not Working: A Book for the Retired, Unemployed, and Overworked


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Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.
— Peter De Vries

My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with.
— Oprah Winfrey

Everything ends this way in France. Weddings, christenings, duels, burials, swindlings, affairs of state- everything is a pretext for a good dinner.
— Jean Anouilh

Sadder than destitution, sadder than a beggar is the man who eats alone in public. Nothing more contradicts the laws of man or beast, for animals always do each other the honor of sharing or disputing each other's food.
— Jean Baudrillard

Appetite comes with eating.
— French Proverb

Blow in its ear.
— Johnny Carson on the best way to thaw a frozen turkey

You needn't tell me that a man who doesn't love oysters and asparagus and good wines has got a soul, or a stomach either. He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.
— Saki

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.
— M. F. K. Fisher

You are where you eat.
— Unknown wise person

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again.
— George Miller

Why is it that when vegetarians come to you, you're expected to provide food for them, but  if you went to their house you'd never say, "I can't eat this muck. Would you grill me a thick steak?".
— Simon Hoggart, Guardian columnist

Lunch is for wimps.
— Oliver Stone

He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him eat horsemeat. It's simply a question of taste.
— Nikita Khrushchev

Roast Beef, Medium, is not only a food. It is a philosophy. Seated at Life's Dining Table, with the menu of Morals before you, your eye wanders a bit over the entrées, the hors d'oeuvres, and the things à la though you know that Roast Beef, Medium, is safe and sane, and sure.
— Edna Ferber

He who eats alone chokes alone.
— Arab Proverb

The act of putting into your mouth what the earth has grown is perhaps your most direct interaction with the earth.
— Frances Moore Lappé

To safeguard one's health at the cost of too strict a diet is a tiresome illness indeed.
— François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld

Upscale people are fixated with food simply because they are now able to eat so much of it without getting fat, and the reason they don't get fat is that they maintain a profligate level of calorie expenditure. The very same people whose evenings begin with melted goats cheese . . . get up at dawn to run, break for a mid-morning aerobics class, and watch the evening news while racing on a stationary bicycle.
— Barbara Ehrenreich

Anybody who believes that the way to man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.
— Robert Byrne

A man seldom thinks with more earnestness of anything than he does of his dinner.
— Samuel Johnson

Kissing don't last: cookery do!
— George Meredith

It if tastes good, it's trying to kill you.
— Roy Qualley 

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by Ernie J. Zelinski — All Rights Reserved
Author of The World's Best Retirement Book

 I will do today
what others won't,
so I will have
tomorrow what
others don't.
— John Addison
No organization — government or
otherwise — can take great care of you in retirement.     Organizations aren't capable of this — only  you are!
— from Life's Secret Handbook

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Surveys of seniors overwhelmingly      suggest that higher incomes don't drive satisfaction in   retirement. That said, there is a minimum
of income required to enjoy retirement.
— Dan Richards
I'm regularly asked     what my [retirement]  plan is, and I    deliberately don't have much of a plan. I've had lots of plans in my life and it might be nice to have a period      that is less planned.
— Malcolm Hamilton, Expert on Pensions 
& Retirement Planning

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