By Ernie J. Zelinski
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(A Comprehensive Collection of serious retirement sayings, funny retirement words, and retirement card messages for the Retired or Soon-to-Be Retired Man, Woman, Teacher, School Principal, Nurse, Pastor, Military Person Etc.)

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Retirement Sayings

The following retirement sayings and retirement words may make great ideas for retirement parties, retirement letters, retirement speeches and retirement cards. These retirement messages may also add spice to your conversations or just plainly lighten your day.

Top-Ten List of Retirement Sayings

 #1 of Ten Retirement Sayings

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.

#2 of Ten Retirement Sayings

After people send their retirement letters and give their retirement speeches, they should enjoy their retirement much more than they ever enjoyed their working days. Otherwise they are saying they have no zest for life.
— Unknown wise retiree

#3 of Ten Retirement Sayings

Retirement: World's longest coffee break.

#4 of Ten Retirement Sayings

In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep
you awake in the afternoon.

#5 of Ten Retirement Sayings

Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working.

#6 of Ten Retirement Sayings

I'm not retiring from life, just a job.

#7 of Ten Retirement Sayings

If my dreams could all come true paradise/retirement would be — in a little bungalow — somewhere by the sea.

#8 of Ten of Retirement Sayings

Retired — Someone who knows it all and has way too much time on his hands to tell you.

#9 of Ten Retirement Sayings

Retirement is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime having done only half of it.

#10 of Ten Retirement Sayings

Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials — much to live on and much to live for.


More Retirement Sayings

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I feel like early retirement is an incredible retirement gift. It's a gift that everyone should give themselves.

Enjoy every retirement day as if it was your last and one day you will be right about it.

I have retired, un-retired, and retired again all in the past 10 years. I find the biggest trouble with having NOTHING to do is . . . you can't tell when you are done.

The right retirement age is a young age so that I have enough time to spend all of my kids' inheritance before I die!
— Unknown wise person

Don't wait for retirement to be happy and really start living. Invariably, people who try this find out that they have waited much too long.
— from the best-selling book How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free

Retirement Cafe Book

  • Over 425,000 Copies Sold
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Sixty-five is the age when one acquires sufficient experience to lose one's job.

The best retirement for workaholics is no retirement at all.

I find the biggest trouble with having NOTHING to do is . . . you
can't tell when you are done.


Working at a job you don't like is a lame way to spend a good portion of your life.


Don't' overdo things that shouldn't be done in the first place.

Growing old is compulsory. Retirement from work is discretionary.

Every prosperous retiree who does not work has a creative scheme that does.

If you don't want to work in retirement you have to work long enough before retirement to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

I have retired, un-retired, and retired again all in the past ten years.

Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.

A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward.

In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.

If you want to retire right, you must know the secrets to The Joy of Not Working.

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Purchase The Joy of Not Working (The World's Second Best Retirement Book) through these direct links:

If you retire right, the only thing you will worry about is when to eat and when to sleep.

Before deciding to take early retirement from your job, stay home a week and watch daytime television.

Creativity in retirement is knowing how to spend time without spending money.
— Author Unknown

Retirement: A Time to Become Much More than You Have Ever Been
— from How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free

Time spent in laughter when one is retired is well invested.

Retirement, when every day is Saturday!

Retirement has cured many businessman's ulcers — and given his wife one!

Retirement: No Job, No Stress, No Pay!

Retirement . . . is when you stop living at work and begin working at living.

Retirement: The time in your life when time is no longer money.


Retirement Jokes and Retirement Quotes

Found on T-Shirts

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Retired. So I am not interested in anyone telling me about their problems at work.
— Unknown Author

Work Sucks. I'm Happily Retired.
— Unknown Author

Retired — No Alarm Clock. No Commute. No Problem.
— Unknown Author

You know the Social Security they keep deducting off your paycheck. Well, it's going to pay for my being retired which I am truly enjoying.
— Unknown wise person

Retired: The Older I Get the Better I Was.
— Unknown wise person

Retired: Too Old to Work — Too Young to Die.
— Author Unknown

Retired: Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it.
— Unknown wise person

Retirement is great. I love being my own boss.
— Unknown Author

NOTE: Also see Teacher Retirement Quotes and Teacher Retirement Poems as well as Funny Retirement Quotes on The Retirement Quotes Cafe



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of Your Destiny With:


The World's Best Retirement Book

by Ernie Zelinski


  • 425,000 Copies Sold Already 
  • Published in 9 Foreign Languages

How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free Will Ensure That You Are Prepared for Retirement When You Leave the Workplace for Good!

Purchase the New Edition of How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free  Today Through This Direct Link: Logo Click Here to Purchase on


COPYRIGHT © 2022 by Ernie J. Zelinski
Author of The World's Second Best Retirement Book
All Rights Reserved 

 I will do today
what others won't,
so I will have
tomorrow what
others don't.
— John Addison
No organization — government or
otherwise — can take great care of you in retirement.     Organizations aren't capable of this — only  you are!
— from Life's Secret Handbook

    OVER 425,000      COPIES SOLD 

How to Retire Happy on


How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free on

Surveys of seniors overwhelmingly      suggest that higher incomes don't drive satisfaction in   retirement. That said, there is a minimum
of income required to enjoy retirement.
— Dan Richards
I'm regularly asked     what my [retirement]  plan is, and I    deliberately don't have much of a plan. I've had lots of plans in my life and it might be nice to have a period      that is less planned.
— Malcolm Hamilton, Expert on Pensions 
& Retirement Planning

 The World's Second Best Retirement Book at

OVER 315,000      COPIES SOLD


  The Joy of Not Working on




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